1. A weight watchers magazine.
2. A bunch of celery.
3. A trail of peanuts.
4. A few cigarettes
Lauren's Literary Lunacies |
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A few days ago we made our first contact with the elephants upstairs. It was scary, but nonetheless, we took a very mature approach. I typed up a tasteful letter (pictured below). J, C and I all tip-toed up the stairs deducing a plan at the very last moment. We were going to slip the letter under, but then realized that it may go unnoticed. We decided to go with the "Knock twice and run like a bats out of hell" back down to our apartment. Upon later thought, the running was rather unnecessary as we CEARLY signed the letter with "From #13". Despite that, we received a letter written back from the elephants themselves written in a rather girly script I must say, considering the magnitude of ruckus they make every night. Tonight, we are taking things to a whole new level. As in the letter, it clearly stated that they would "Take to eating celery", "Take up smoking" and "join weight -watchers", we have helped them get a jump start on their plans. This jump start includes: 1. A weight watchers magazine. 2. A bunch of celery. 3. A trail of peanuts. 4. A few cigarettes These tactics are a sure-fire plan to stop the elephants.. or are they? This makes me wonder if a retaliation will be at hand. We've vowed to lock and barricade the door, only travel outside in groups and if worse comes to worse, we may be making a trip up to #33 to instill the same jumping techniques above their heads. As children we were taught two techniques 1: the silent treatment, which has not worked for the past 7 months, or 2: beat the shit out of who ever is bothering you. As we are civil beings, we will use our words and actions to get the job done. If I do say so myself, we have done a rather swell job. I will note on my next post how the elephants respond, and if I don't blog, you know to send help. These elephants have tusks.. large large tusks.
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& if you're at the root of a tree, you must ensure you're strong enough to hold up all the apples who depend on you.
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