Tim Hortons has us all whipped. All of a sudden I am requiring an average of 3 more coffees a day putting me up to 5 coffees a day... but wait, that is 5 chances to win each day, right? WRONG.
Instead of being offered 5 chances a day to win, I am offered 5 chances to please play again. I wonder what our professors think when they see their students noisily chewing away at paper cups only to see their eyes fill with tears and disappointment.
The shit that sucks about Roll up the Rim:
- The line ups are out of fricken control. Everyone, like you, is running to get their chance at winning.
- You are wasting however much time you spend waiting for your coffee x5/day.. when you could be doing things that matter, like streaming the walking dead or playing candy crush.
- You never win anything cool
- You are consuming 1000 more calories a day just trying to win.
- You are drinking the next size up because you want a better chance at winning.
- Your teeth are probably getting ruined from the frenzied chewing at the sides of cups
There is nothing quite as terrible as drinking a coffee so fast it scalds your mouth so badly you can't even breathe, THEN gnawing away at the roll tabs to not only lose ONCE but to lose TWICE. See, I think Tim Hortons added that extra little roll tab just to make winning seem better... when you actually do win.
I emailed Tim Hortons to ask if I could trade in my free donut for a free package of gluten-free macaroons (which I will have you know totals $1.29, inside the price range of $0.89-$2.05 CDN so excuse me for wanting a fair chance at a sugary, fatty, calorie-full treat). I also told them that eating a donut would cause me to shit my pants/vomit and I don't think a free treat should do that.
They replied back and told me that no, I could not get gluten-free macaroons. I was pretty upset when I read their reply. Guess what Tim Horotons? I am going to use my three free donut tabs to buy three Boston Cream donuts, and then I am going to projectile vomit all over their parking lot. Take it or leave it buckos. I take this as gluten-discrimination.
Alas, all of the cars have inevitably been won by Ontario folk and I'm pretty sure they lied about the actuality of the elusive Visa gift cards. I guess I'll switch back to Starbucks.. at least they have soy milk and wifi there.