Malls are terrible places full of mothers and their oversizes baby carriages. Seriously, there should be a limit, like carry on luggage sizes. If said stroller is the width of 4 babies, its is TOO LARGE TO BRING IN BATH AND BODY WORKS. Did pregnancy destroy your common sense?
On the note of Bath and Body Works, Jesus. That is all I can say.
If the overwhelmingly strong scent of every single holiday smell blasted into one small room wasn't enough, the cheery intensity of the girls working there make me consider comatism: defined, going into a voluntary coma to avoid holiday cheer. It is not an exaggeration to say that the number of employees within said store exceeds the number of shoppers. I simply pick up a candle to sniff innocently at it, and some cheery little girl is at my side "Ooh la la, I just love that scent, isn't it so great? I love to use it in my bedroom to make it smell like the holidays. Here, would you like a bag? Perhaps you should just follow me and I will pick out 5 great items that are sure to bring you Christmas cheer".
No. But how about you piggy back me around the store whilst I check out your over priced shit? How about that?
Apparently if you would like to avoid harassment in Bath and Body Works, you can look only with your eyes. Touching a product means that you would like assistance.
Also, tell me why Bath and Body Works are are selling scents such as:
- Dirty hay loft
- Muddy fleece blanket
- Inside of Snowboarding boot
- Sheets that havent been washed since Christmas 2011
- Burnt turds rolled in a sweaty armpit
These are not appealing scents. Please check with your marketing department before you okay thses atrocities.
I am not sure if this is a new "2012 customer service initiative" but employees in clothing stores act more as Chatty Cathys than as employees. That fake smile and pitch of voice about 3 times higher than that of My little pony after she breathes helium, is too much. We all know you are faking the joyousness you are trying so hard to exude. Is that a tiny 6-pack I see forming on your cheek from excessive holiday smiling? Yes, yes it is.
Sometimes, people may want to browse through merchandise without having a commission crazed pair of eyes on their back. If I have an angered look on my face, kind of like I may or may not have a weapon hidden under my sweater. Back. Off. For your own safety.
I was casually looking through some racks of clothing, and three different girls had their eyes on me. It got even more awkward when I couldn't look anywhere without making eye contact with one of them. I saw out of the corner that one of them was actually scenting me, you know, like hunting dogs do when they smell a duck? She even had her wrist all curled up and her elbow bent.. and her eyes closed as she sniffed. So odd.
If you are going to do me one favor this holiday season, just shut your mouth. Just shut it. Please. If I would like help, I will ask you for it. Otherwise, fade away.
Ever notice that when you decide to do a big shop for Christmas, you are sofa king hungry? This probably adds to the anger, that kind of anger when you want to swing your purse into a stand of sunglasses just to feel better? You know what I am talking about.
I find myself looking longingly for my mother, with her purse full of cashews and protein bars for her two daughters that get so hungry while they shop, that they may be escorted from a store for acting aggressively towards sales associates.
The feeling progresses from excessive anger to feeling like you may be on the urge of crying. You are looking for a place to just sit the fuck down, for three to five seconds. You want to make a little nest of winter jackets or hockey bags or and just rest, for one short second. But no, the holidays do not allow for rest. Go, go, go. That is the motto. If you're looking for a quick rest, just tip yourself backwards into a tall rack of puffy down jackets and (if you are lucky) you may be fully engulfed into them and be hidden from the sales associates. Take this time to regroup. Stop hyper ventilating, wipe your sweat mustache that has inevitably formed from all your power walking, and take a small coma. We all know you deserve it.
There are still 31 shopping days until Christmas. This is just the beginning....