Being a hygienically concerned individual, I'm not one who would get on my hands and knees in a sweaty locker room, and lick the floor like a basset hound on a hunt. That is what I equate to consuming mushrooms. I don't eat athletes foot, I don't eat toe fungus and I certainly will not be putting an entire fungus into my facial orifice. Fungus is described as Any of a group of unicellular, multicellular, or syncytial spore-producing organisms feeding on organic matter, including molds, yeast, mushrooms, and toadstools. (Webster's Online Dictionary). Along side this description casually resides the "Fungal infection", sick. Mushrooms are so sneaky, that they send out their spores to repopulate the areas surrounding. I fear that in time, the mushroom epidemic may be worse than the incidence of pubescent boys with pregnant girlfriends.
The odor mushrooms exhibit is closest resembled by a sweaty man's jock-strap mingled with moth balls. I haven't ever smelled moth balls because that would be a very difficult endeavor to smell the testicles of a flying bug, but I like to think they smell repulsive, and very similar to mushrooms.
Whist I am handling these mushrooms, both the slimy, mucus covered texture and the brain-like appearance causes me to dry heave. Why exactly are mushrooms so slippery, and how can some people put this behind them and chow down? When I look at mushrooms they have innards that appear to be an entire set of human eyelashes, with some human brain matter, all present in that terrible, fecal brown colour.
I have and will refuse to consume these organisms. Before you decide to make peace with these balls of fungus hell, remember what you are putting into your mouth. Next thing you know, they'll be spreading their spores to your body and setting up shop.